Let's get married

Today is my 10th day of writing a blog each day for 30 days straight. Sipping coffee and getting ready for a full body workout, it's been around 10 days since I hit the gym. So here I am. 

Wake up. Scrolled and worked on something for quite some time. And then I was stopped by that video of Arwa Gouda, dancing at her wedding. And strangely enough there was this huge ass smile drawn on my face. يمكن انا فعلا عايزة اشوف تيتا و هي بتغني في فرحي يتربي في عزه حمادة عزة. Or whatever the fuck tota was thinking of. Idk when I was getting ready I started to play some "افرحي يا عروسة انا العريس " while Infact there's no "عريس" and it's just me and my gym bag in my room. So I spent around 15 mins just dancing to some Egyptian wedding songs. Yea that was nice. I love my solitude so much. But I'm just too of a pussy to let someone completely into my life. 

And while writing this " how high is the moon - chet baker" followed by " come prima - dalida". Some good ass shit tbh. Iram getting married. Almost sounds like a joke to me. I can't help but wonder. How will he look like ? While I stand in front of him in my white dress and my long ass veil. Nah fuck him. I just know that I'll look pretty af. I hate that I'm kind of sobbing right now. 

Tbh marriage has always been something I'm scared to even think about. I either have too high of expectations or no hope at all. " مافيش وسطية". 

من كام يوم كنت بتكلم انا و تيتا و بقولها يا سوسو يا حبيبتي اغسل المواعين ليه و ماما حبيبة قلبي موجودة. 
تيتا: يا ارم يا حبيبتي انا لما كنت قدك كان عندي عيلين. 

So my dear soso lemme ask you this. When you were my age did you make money ? Did you have so juicy biceps ? I don't think so you old woman therefore قولي لتوتا بقي تغسل المواعين علشان مش فاضية وحياتك سرعيا بس يا حبيبتي اه. 

Left off to whatever the fuck I was doing. I couldn't help but wonder. Am I really behind? I felt extremely but that lasted for 10 seconds. Tf. Am I past the deadline of having two kids  just thriving  كده ؟ 

I can't help but laugh right now cause wtf was she talking about. ربنا يهديها. 

ربنا يهديني و يرزقني عريس هني و غني علي رأي الراجل اللي دعالي نفس الدعوة ديه لما كنت انا و احلام في سوق ديانا. 

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