I need a cigarette.

 "Transform - Daniel Caesar", I don't know I never liked these types of songs, but here I am trying something new. "Yea This is what I want to do with my life", A question that's been on my mind for a while now. A hot while, ever since I was working at Intelcia, Is this really I want to be doing "call center ass shit?". A now it's been nearly a month since I started working in real estate, I really hate that "there's a lot of wasted fucking time, you know? You girl here wants at least 2 fucking days off per week."بس لو عايز حاجة محتاج تضحي".

Damn that "transform" shit is so bad. 0/10. Listening to "Over -Lucky Daye" fucking love it. Always been my go to song when I want to feel something. The last few days have been really weird for me. I'm the youngest there at the floor, I still don't know what the fuck I'll spend my life doing to be honest. Switching between multiple jobs, still figuring out. I had a conversation with one of my friends a couple of days ago, she told me "this is the age when you start to fuck around to find out". Yea I do fuck around, still didn't find out anything worth all this fucking.

Like bitch, I know, but you know too?, I just feel like I want everything all at once. I want to get into sales, work on my brand, I want to learn multiple languages, travel the fucking world. I always feel like whatever I do there's still something that's missing. It's not missing so that I can feel complete, but the whole experience is not fulfilling enough. After a lot of thinking, and coffee too. I came to the conclusion that, I need to chill the fuck out. Like for real, and let things take their time. Never thought that being this impatient would have a really deep negative effect, but hey being 20 is all about figuring "yourself" and life out. But I come first. I need to figure out myself first, that shit sounds too complicated. 

I need a cigarette.