Do you remember ?, Cause I do.

As I take a sip from my coffee, I remember how I would dance and sing in my car, get out of the window and even recklessly scream, where I call, and hit "يلا ؟". Random walks in Wust Elbalad, Elzamalek and visits to Sakyet El Sawy. Listening to "فاكرة - مسار اجباري", I love this song, one of my favorites, as the melody is kind of playful but the lyrics just tell a different story. 

I'm indeed very tied to music and places, yet I miss the scent of my freshly watered plants, and even some personalities of mine, I remember Iram who would post weird shit on her Instagram stories, taking random photos of whatever shit I used to find cool. I miss that version of me. And as my personality evolved over time, situations and people I've met along the way. I can't help but wonder, I mean it's all part of the process, a part of the journey. 

Right now, adapting a mentality of "time is money", and my energy isn't for everybody, I'm a more mature motherfucker right now, but am I missing out? Work hard, play harder type of shit, but that type of playing with that kind of personality is a more measured type of playing, is a more of "okay, will that have a negative effect by any means?", kind of shit, I'm still fun, but more like careful. 

I remember some situations and wonder how would I act if I had that kind of mentality back then, let me tell you, and whenever I try to get to know someone, I feel like I'm interviewing them, not getting to know them. " اه يعني شغال ايه يعني, ساكن فين معلش؟- اه اه يا حبيبي" and they can even see a judging expression on my face. I miss going out and exploring new places, or walk in streets I've never been to. 

There's just this feeling that I fucking miss, yet I can't really point it out. Whether it's a new place, a road trip, or some quality time with people I love. I feel it, it's sudden and doesn't come out for a particular reason, but I feel like I'm craving something that excites me. It's a sudden feeling of love, excitement, not particularly love bombing, but a scene that makes you smile whenever it replays in the back of your mind, a love confession that went something like "انا حاسس اننا اتقابلنا بطريقة قدرية", or a road trip with family where you would race cars, Kia's and fucking Hyundai's, or something stupid and reckless you do with your friends. I miss that kind of feeling. I just need a Birell and a car ride where I play "من اول مره - العسيلي". 

I feel like something big is about to happen that would bring that feeling out of me, and as the "Valentine day" is near, I feel like I need to dress up, put on my dark heavy eyeliner, diamond earrings and book that ticket, cause Cairo Opera House is fucking waiting for me. I always like that time of the year, between February, March till June or July, spring and the start of summer, my favorite time of the year ever, when it's "العيد الصغير, العيد الكبير, رمضان ساعات و عيد ميلادي و ممكن سفرية في النص". I can't be more excited to see what this year is all about, where else would I be travelling and what memories I'll be making. But I still want a big ass bouquet of roses this Valentine, "nah I'm messing around". But maybe some chocolates isn't a bad idea, nah I'm still messing around. I just need a day where I enjoy my time to the fucking max. Dress up, dance and sing. I'll keep you updated, whether I get the chocolates, bouquet of roses, or both.

"يلا؟"