20's crisis

Week's finally over, and here I am sitting on the couch while I listen to "رسالة من امرأة مجهولة - فايزة احمد" and getting warm from the "ام علي" I'm eating, head filled with uncertain and definitely messy ideas, and some "why's" here and there, Why did I do that why did that happen, why did it have to end like that.  As I was thinking about it, well, I'm not a saint, not a prophet, and it got me thinking "لا اله الا انتا سبحانك اني كنت من الظالمين", that Duaa, had a purpose, originated from a mistake and certainly a regret. The human race was created because Adam did something that wasn't suppose to do. Got me thinking even more; these kinds of things, happen for a reason, we might not see it, but a feeling of deep sorrow, regret and rage that blinds us from seeing "what's out there".  Where a question is asked, what is needed to actually move on and forward. Is it space?, Is it time?,  I feel like to see clearl...

Can I just say how much I miss this cup of coffee, and me just shuffling my likes. After 7 days of work instead of 5 I can't say how much I'm grateful for "this ritual". Even happier that "Eid" is almost in 2 days. Messy thoughts, messy hair a cold cup of coffee "cracked ass laptop was starting", عيون بهية - محمد العزبي", can't complain tbh.  Avail time filled with "courses" type ass, and some "podcasts", and maybe some little socializing here and there, I came across a podcast, where it basically talked about regression and how sometimes you can lose yourself to satisfy others, thought I'd share my thoughts upon this, but let me give you a heads up about what regression might be; one form of regression is being a social person by nature, even getting more sociable in big groups, where it may even make your partner question why aren't you like that around them, when you're both together, so you then start to...

Let me start this blog with a question "Am I going through a phase ?", last week couldn't be more stressful. I didn't have any time to write, even on my days off I would be in bed all day long. Well let me rephrase this last part "I didn't have the inspiration to write". I do miss these moments when a situation happens then I'd have sth to say or a question that pops up in my head then makes me wonder about this and that.  One of the things that's been really on my mind the last few days is the phase I'm going through. I tend to care, but recently it's been just a little too much than the usual. Where it would start to get me irritated. Let me explain; the past few days I've been contemplating whether I should post this blog on my story or make it public. I don't have much followers on my Instagram, yet I still wonder how many people will be checking it out. "Posted it on my story twice then deleted that shit". "Wou...

 Days have passed since I last posted, I can't explain how I missed that feeling, just me and my cup of coffee, and music of my choice. I'm even happier that I'm over with this week, I've been craving some "connection" some type of "hey, I do have a social life too", and I finally got some.  Wasn't thinking much of today's outing, thought okay will be meeting some old friends from school and I'd go home, then I met "Nada", one of my friends older sister, didn't think much of her, was my first time meeting her so, didn't expect much, we went out, then she said she wanted to go to the toilet or some shit, to my surprise we spent more than half an hour in the toilet just laughing our asses off and trauma dumping.  Weirdly enough, every now and then I meet an interesting person who make me wonder, or makes me "think deeply about some stuff", but can we go back, just a little bit, where I basically mentioned that th...