Should I ? or I Shouldn't ?

Can I just say how much I miss this cup of coffee, and me just shuffling my likes. After 7 days of work instead of 5 I can't say how much I'm grateful for "this ritual". Even happier that "Eid" is almost in 2 days. Messy thoughts, messy hair a cold cup of coffee "cracked ass laptop was starting", عيون بهية - محمد العزبي", can't complain tbh. 

Avail time filled with "courses" type ass, and some "podcasts", and maybe some little socializing here and there, I came across a podcast, where it basically talked about regression and how sometimes you can lose yourself to satisfy others, thought I'd share my thoughts upon this, but let me give you a heads up about what regression might be; one form of regression is being a social person by nature, even getting more sociable in big groups, where it may even make your partner question why aren't you like that around them, when you're both together, so you then start to get more quite in big groups which isn't something you'd usually do, that's regression. Another episode, well talked about "You are who you surround yourself with", lazy people will make you lazier, gossipers will make you gossip, and people who exercise and go to the gym will make you get your ass moving. 

I've lost myself to satisfy others before, where I was told do "this" and not "that", but what place did that come from? Did it come from "Hey, I'm advising you because I know better" or a place like "self consciousness and low self esteem, I don't want you to do this because you have a greater aura than me and I don't want to seem like I don't have a persona" typ shyt? 

That made me wonder, should that person has to have some sort of authority to tell me how I should act?, I'd say, family members, yes, but a partner, mmm I don't really know, opinions may vary, but in my personal opinion, isn't that what makes us compatible in the very first place? Compatibility now sounds like something essential, cause dating, isn't just really about having fun with your partner and good times only, yet working shit out in the bad rough times too. 

"Reem, my SME's girlfriend", told her to give me a piece of advice, "internal joke; cause to me she seems really fucking shallow, no offense, nothing beneficial was coming from her you know?", said: If you're 19, try to have as much fun as you can in that age, and tbh it doesn't have to include any men", sounds simple, but coming from her made it sound different, maybe because I expected her to say something "useless". In a nutshell, take care of who you surround yourself with, don't lose your personality to satisfy others UNLESS, it will be a positive change, have fun, enjoy life, and don't over analyze fucking podcasts on avail, like me.

Speaking of "FUN", I'm so fucking glad this winter is finally over, my favorite time of the year is about to begin, I drew some sketches this week, wrote some blogs, did some journaling and worked my ass off, life's good, can't wait to see what else out there is waiting for me, chances to be taken, days to be seized, and some freakiness to be embraced. 

"Ending: Bustalk- Bobby Waston"

"يارب الهدي و حياة كريمة"